


WishList

by MoonBaesTilly



Category: ATEEZ (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Background WooSan - Freeform, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Soft Choi Soobin, Sweetheart Huening Kai, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, Woosan, Yeonbin, anti Beomgyu because I live for his drama with Yeonjun, birthday kisses, existing background relationship, here's to hoping people like this, mild angst because I can't seem to get away from it, stuffed bunnies because i want one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28555806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonBaesTilly/pseuds/MoonBaesTilly
Summary: It's all wrongI might confessI like youIn which Yeonjun wants to give Soobin an amazing gift but can't come up with anything good. Desperate and out of options, he asks the birthday boy if there's anything he wants.As it turns out... Soobin has a Wishlist.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 127
Collections: txt





	WishList

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Liyah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liyah/gifts).



> Hello. This is my first fic as a Moa and I am proud that I got to write this story. Ever since I heard wishlist, I wanted to write a birthday fic but I wasn't sure if anyone would read it. then my darling friend reminded me about her birthday and since we live too far apart, I felt like this would be a good enough gift because she is one of the biggest Moas I know.
> 
> Dahliyah, my baby, happy birthday again. I'm sorry that it's coming a week late but I really hope that you and everyone else who reads this likes it and continues to support TXT as they grow as the most magical group on the planet. I love you! 😚💗💖💛💙💜💝

_Yeonjun was - without a shred of doubt - screwed._

As he sat in bed, reeling from the awful realization that had just dawned on him, it occurred to him that this was quite possibly the worst situation he’d ever been in. This level of screw up was worse than the time he’d handed Huening Kai his drink at a party, completely forgetting that he’d just topped it up with some alcohol - seconds before he ran into the younger, or that time when it had somehow left his mind that he had a super important report to submit that was worth half his grade and he’d remembered only hours before the submission time.

In the case involving Huening Kai, his mistake had only become apparent when the giant baby puppy climbed on top of a table and yelled loud enough for everyone in attendance to hear that he liked patting Yeonjun’s and Soobin’s tummies. Yeonjun had felt all the color drain from his face at the sudden declaration, horrified and confused, swearing when he noticed the brunette baby waving around an empty cup.

Soobin had stayed with him as he begged Huening to drink some water, guilty and deeply apologetic for accidentally getting him drunk, tearfully accepting all the hugs the baby boy gave once he noticed how upset Yeonjun was over the matter. Soobin was also the one he’d called around three a.m. when he’d recalled his report out of the blue, panicking because it was due by nine a.m.

The other had gone out and returned with a large iced americano to walk Yeonjun to the library and stayed by his side until the final full stop was typed onto the page. Yeonjun clearly remembered the way Soobin had shaken his head and gently brushed his fingers over Yeonjun’s bangs after the older had happily told him of his grade - a _B minus,_ a far too generous mark for the coffee-drunk trash he’d written, in his opinion- and offered to treat him to a meal. 

Although he’d agreed, he told Yeonjun never to feel like he owed Soobin anything when the other was far too happy to indulge him. That moment had given Yeonjun so much hope, assuring him that maybe… _maybe it wasn’t just him who felt the way he did_.

Which was why he couldn't believe how much of an idiot he’d been. It was the 2nd of December, which meant Soobin’s birthday was in three days. Usually, Yeonjun would be excited for an opportunity to fawn over the other boy - something he already did on a daily basis - but he wasn’t exactly equipped with the mentality required for his usually shameless display of affection.

Because Soobin’s birthday was three days away and he still didn’t have a gift for the other.

Some people - mostly Beomgyu - might have thought he was being overly dramatic. But said people wouldn't understand that his feelings for Soobin couldn't be termed as a crush. That ship had sailed ages ago. Now, it was so much more than that and even Yeonjun had no idea how to properly phrase the overwhelming feeling of joy and a pending heart attack that washed over him each time Soobin appeared in his line of sight.

And Yeonjun had decided that he was finally going to do it - he was going to confess to Soobin on his birthday. Except now, the plan had hit an unexpected snag due to the abject lack of an awesome gift. He wanted to present the other with something special, priceless - something to prove that Yeonjun and his feelings were serious and that he intended to take care of Soobin, just as the other had taken care of him countless times before, and some more.

_“You should quit. Just because he indulges you, doesn’t mean he’s game. Soobin would be nice to a wolf after it ate his grandmother, as long as it smiled to him.”_

Beomgyu hadn't meant that, _not really_. He had just been trying to tease Yeonjun but the comment had stung nonetheless, feeding him to his insecurities and fears. Because he knew, all too well, of Soobin’s earnestly kind nature, of his desire to make everyone around him happy like the mom he was destined to be. 

Every day, Yeonjun prayed that wasn’t the only reason he let Yeonjun hold his hands or returned his hugs or accepted his little forehead kisses. He hoped that somewhere, somehow, Soobin was flowing on the same wavelength he was - even _just a little_.

He just really wanted to make Soobin happy. Unfortunately, it was proving harder to do than ever before. Yeonjun had been friends with Soobin since high school and not once had he ever had as much trouble picking out a present for the other as he was now. Soobin was relatively an easy person, and his fondness for nearly everything on the damn planet made him relatively easy to shop for.

And yet… this time felt impossible like Yeonjun was trying to get something for a person who already had everything. In some ways, he supposed that was it. Maybe it was also concerning the fact that there was a deeper intention behind the mission.

Yeonjun didn’t know what it was, only that he was out of time and he had nothing.

With a hopeless groan, he fell back against his sheets, rolling over with the intention of smothering himself in the wrinkled sea of blue and green swirls in an attempt to flee from his problems. The three simultaneous chimes that came from his phone told him his ridiculous antics would have to wait a little longer. With his eyes closed, he reached for his phone in the direction of the nightstand, holding it over his face and trying to unlock it - an action he regretted when the device slipped from his fingers and hit him in the face.

“Son of a-” Yeonjun grunted in pain, wincing as the metallic taste of blood teased his tongue. 

With a glare at the offending object, he placed his pointer finger at the back where the fingerprint sensor was, heart-stopping when the screen came alive, and informed him that he had three texts from Soobin.

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_Hey, sunshine._ **

**_You up?_ **

**_Coffee at Woo’s?_ **

On any other day, he wouldn't even think twice before flying towards his closet in search of what to wear. Now… he wasn’t sure he could face Soobin knowing that he might never get to return the favor of pure honesty as the other had done so many other times.

Just as he contemplated telling the other he wasn’t feeling up to a confrontation with the great unknown - _also referred to as the outside by common people_ \- Soobin pulled out the big guns.

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_Please?_ **

**_I miss you._ **

Oh, that was just unfair.

Yeonjun had made it a mission to never let Soobin beg him for anything - although he’d played hard to get on several occasions, Soobin’s escalation to pleas always drew the line. And so, Yeonjun knew he didn’t have any other choice.

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_good morning, beautiful bunny._ **

**_i’ll be there in twenty minutes._ **

* * *

To Yeonjun’s credit, he had asked for help. Except it hadn't gone as smoothly or productive as he would’ve liked. With a limited amount of time, his only choice was to turn to the people who were just as close to Soobin as he was.

_“I need your help.”_

_“No.”_

_Yeonjun had skilfully pretended not to hear Beomgyu’s instant refusal and slipped into the space next to the other, fixing his gaze on the other younger boys._

_“Soobin birthday gift ideas. Go.”_

_Huening Kai, the sweetheart, was willing to indulge Yeonjun and thought for a second and proposed._

_“A pet? He loves animals and he’d be a great owner.”_

_“Cute, but we have you. You’re all the warmth and fluff we need.” Yeonjun dismissed with the wave of a hand, pretending he didn’t notice the wave of red that settled across Huening’s cheeks. “Something else?”_

_Taehyun - realizing that Yeonjun wouldn't walk away without some sort of assistance, or at least until all options were futile and he could wander off after calling them useless - decided to provide a suggestion._

_“You could make him something to eat. Like a whole five-course meal affair.”_

_Yeonjun paused in thought for a moment and then shook his head._

_“That’s not special enough. I already feed him like he’s my son. We practically live together at this point.”_

_“We do live together. In the same dorm house, unfortunately.” Beomgyu sighed, swapping places with Huening Kai who was more than happy to accept the head pats Yeonjun offered the moment he was seated near the other._

_“Don’t worry, Gyu. One of these days, I’ll make good on my promise and set your bed on fire, so you’ll finally make good on yours and leave. Of course, it’s up to you whether or not you’ll still be in it when the flames emerge.” Yeonjun grinned before glancing around the table. “Anything else? Come on, guys. I need something good.”_

_“_ **_You_ ** _need something. We’ve already figured out what we’re getting him.” Taehyun rolled his eyes._

_When Yeonjun faced Huening, the younger shrugged, stating softly._

_“Soobin is actually the easiest person to get a gift for. He’s pretty open about the things he likes.”_

_“Yes but… I can't just give stuff that doesn't’ mean anything to me. I’m doing this for both of us. So he’ll know that-”_

_Soobin had popped up at that moment and Yeonjun nearly died of a heart attack, barely managing to stifle his scream of surprise in time to pull on a flirty expression. When the other had asked what they had been talking about, Yeonjun had expected a cacophony of lies._

_“You. Your birthday.” Beomgyu provided helpfully, shoving his veggies aside to focus on his last piece of chicken._

_Huening was all that stopped Yeonjun from climbing the table and strangling Beomgyu, and after Soobin had been successfully distracted by the youngest, the offender had the gall to tell Yeonjun to “Just ask him what he wants.”_

At that point, things weren’t so hopeless, so he felt Beomgyu’s idea was of no use to him. Now, as he stepped into Wooyoung’s cafe, instantly spotting the lilac haired boy he’d willingly sell his soul for, he realized Beomgyu might’ve been onto something.

“Junnie! Hi!” Soobin beamed instantly as Yeonjun approached the table he was sitting at.

“You’re acting as if you haven't seen me in days. I know we don’t live together anymore, but it’s only been a week since I moved out.” Yeonjun murmured, even as he wrapped his arms around the other and let the jasmine scent of Soobin’s conditioner calm his heart.

Moving out of the dorm house hadn't really been easy for Yeonjun who had become hopelessly dependent on Soobin’s smile to function appropriately. However, when his uncle asked him to move into his condo for a few months to look after it while he was gone, Yeonjun couldn't really say no.

“We haven't really seen each other in a while though, between classes and stuff.” Soobin pointed out. “And it feels like you’ve been avoiding me.”

Yeonjun felt the familiar tug of guilt in his chest and busied himself with the menu, despite knowing that there was only one thing he was going to order out of habit.

“I haven't been avoiding you, Binnie. Why would I, when your face makes my day so much better?”

There was enough truth in there to hide the initial lie at the start of his statement and that seemed to work for Soobin who shrugged and leaned his chin against his closed fist.

“So, what have you been up to?”

“Oh, the usual. Trying not to let college be the death of me, dance practice, thinking of you… just the same old stuff.”

Soobin laughed, putting his dimples on full display, captivating Yeonjun as they did each time, even though he’d seen them a million times before. 

“Really? I’m glad.” Soobin stated softly, his caramel eyes lighting up in a way Yeonjun had never seen before.

Before the elder could further process it, Soobin questioned, “You’re still coming to the party right?”

_Ah. Right. The party Namjoon was throwing for Soobin._

“Yeah. Of course… as long as I figure out what to get you for your birthday.”

Soobin groaned around his muffin, shaking his head. 

“I told you, you don’t need to get me anything.”

“But I want to,” Yeonjun whined, desperate. “Come on, Soobin. Be nice to me. I’m out of ideas and I have never shown up in front of you empty-handed and I’m not about to start now. There has to be something you want.”

Soobin smiled and shrugged casually, leaning back against the blue leather of the booth.

“Maybe there is. But you really don’t have to-”

“I really want to. Please.” Yeonjun begged earnestly, leaning forward so Soobin could see the desperation in his eyes.

Soobin watched him silently for a few seconds and then sighed in a resigned manner, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“Actually… there is something I want.”

“Great. Tell me.”

“I can't.”

Yeonjun’s smile fell off his face, instantly replaced by confusion. Before he could whine, Soobin gently grabbed hold of one of his hands, playing with Yeonjun’s fingers - a habit that only surfaced when he was nervous.

“I can't tell you outright. But I can give you clues? Sort of like a wishlist. I can give it to you and if you can figure it out, then…”

_Okay. This was considerably better than nothing._

“That’s not a bad idea. Will I be able to get it to you in time?”

Soobin tilted his head with an unreadable expression before smiling slightly. “No rush. I’ll be happy to get it whenever I can.”

Excited, Yeonjun sat upright, blue eyes twinkling as he requested., “First clue, please.”

With a playful roll of his eyes, Soobin calmly said.

“Soft, cotton candy pink.”

Yeonjun blinked. “What?”

Blushing, Soobin lowered his head to take a sip of his drink, and Yeonjun - too confused to be distracted by the pink lips he’d dreamed of - continued to blink at the other.

“What the hell is that?”

“A clue. Pretty obvious if you ask me.”

“Obvious to who?” Yeonjun laughed, trying to ignore the feeling of the initial excitement of his chances falling out of reach.

“You don’t have to-”

“No. If it’s what you want, I’ll give it to you. Even though I have no clue what it could be. It does exist right?” he tried to check to be safe.

“A little too good to be true, but yeah. It does.” Soobin replied softly.

“Okay. If it’s what Soobin wants, I will scourer the lands, cross oceans to find it.” Yeonjun pledged with a newfound resolve.

“You won't have to go that far, but okay.” Soobin giggled adorably.

The rest of the hang out passed in a blur like it always did, with Soobin catching up on what he’d missed in the four days he hadn't seen Yeonjun - even though the elder hadn't been up to anything special. After Yeonjun said so, Soobin still wanted to know all the details of how he’d spent his time, and once again, Yeonjun was reminded of how utterly in love he was with Soobin and his giant heart.

His thoughtfulness was one of the things Yeonjun loved about him. It was how he crafted his schedules to fit those of the members of their little friend group, how he did grocery runs with full consideration for what the others might like. How he never failed to check in on his friends, ensuring that they were always in good condition, or that they had someone to talk to whenever they weren’t.

In short, Soobin was an angel and Yeonjun had long come to the terms of his damnation on his way to earning the other’s love.

And so, he was going to do any and everything in his power to ensure that Soobin’s secret desire would come to him.

_How hard could it be?_

* * *

“ _Fucking hell, I hate this_.” 

Huening artfully pretended he wasn’t hearing the seventh burst of swear words in the last ten minutes, peering down an aisle of stuffed animals.

“Huening…”

At the sound of his name, the younger turned, pitifully taking in Yeonjun’s exhausted and disheartened form, immediately opening up his arms for a hug. Yeonjun wasted no time stepping into the embrace, sniffing with a pout as Huening rubbed comforting circles on his back.

“I hate this,” Yeonjun repeated in a low murmur.

“I know.”

“It seemed so easy.”

“Only to you. I knew from the start we might have some problems.”

“But you came anyway. I will forever treasure your loyalty, something Beomgyu should learn.”

After his spontaneous coffee date with Soobin - that’s what he wanted to call it, leave him be - he made a group chat and added the other boys so they could help him look for what it was Soobin wanted. Right after Yeonjun sent in the first clue, Beomgyu replied with a disappointed “You have got to be kidding me.”

Before anyone could question his reaction, he left the group. Taehyun was busy with a project, leaving Huening as the only source of help left. The youngest seemed more than happy to escort Yeonjun on his quest and they’d ventured to the mall after breakfast, spirits high and eyes bright.

It took two hours of fruitless searching to crack Yeonjun’s excitement and another hour and a half to rip his hopes away. It was strange how at first they couldn't find anything that fit the given _soft, cotton candy pink_ clue, and then later, there were too many variables. 

_Cotton candy perfume in a pink glass bottle, soft pink cotton shirts, wool sweaters that were fluffy and pink…_ with a lot of options, it was honestly devastating how none of them matched what Soobin wanted. Even though Yeonjun had no idea what exactly it could be, each time he stared at those objects, he somehow knew they weren’t what he was looking for.

The frustrating part was that left him nowhere, with nothing.

“That rabbit is pretty cute,” Huening muttered, stepping sideways with Yeonjun still attached to him, so the other could see the stuffed animal he was talking about.

Yeonjun took a look at the large - twice the size of a toddler - pink bunny, cheeks heating up when he noticed a resemblance to Soobin.

“It is. Very cute.”

“Do you want it? I can get it for you.”

Huening was an angel and Yeonjun started to nod, stilling when he noticed something.

“No… I mean yes. I want it. But not the pink one. I’ll buy that one.” he pointed to an identical rabbit next to it with one slight difference. “I want the blue one.”

Minutes later, they were seated at the food court and Yeonjun felt somewhat comforted by the large bags seated at his sides.

“At least this might help him forgive me for not getting what he wants.”

“Don’t be like that. Look, he said he had a wishlist, right? Ask for another clue. That might help.” Huening suggested, taking a sip of his boba tea.

Yeonjun wasn’t happy about having to contact Soobin with no progress, but his limited options left him no other choice. Rather than calling him, he pulled up their private messages, typing in a quick greeting, heart fluttering at the instantaneous response.

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_What are you up to?_ **

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_oh, you know. just… suffering_ **

**_because you’re special, so of course_ **,

**_you’d want something just as special._ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny_ **

**_You really don’t have to do this._ **

**_I don’t need you to get me anything._ **

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_i know that, bunny._ **

**_but i really want to. gimme another clue._ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_So stubborn._ **

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_and still, you love me._ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_Okay. The next clue._ **

**_As blue as the vast, cold sea, but always warm to me._ **

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_it really isn’t funny that you’re using this as an_ **

**_opportunity to flaunt your poetry skills_ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny-_ **

**_Told you that creative writing class was fun._ **

“How’s it going?” Huening enquired, leaning forward to steal a bite of Yeonjun’s pretzel.

“Oh, wonderful. I love him and he hates me.” Yeonjun laughed humourlessly, turning the screen to face the other boy so he could get a sense of just how much trouble Yeonjun had gotten himself into.

Huening quickly read through the messages, eyebrows furrowing and he glanced at Yeonjun oddly, then back at the messages.

“Do you think it’s mean too?” Yeonjun groaned.

“No…” Huening hummed, staring at him strangely. “I’m not sure but… it seems pretty cool.”

“Yes, but, I have no clue what it is.”

Huening smiled a little, patting Yeonjun’s hand gently.

“You’re one of the smartest people I know. You’ll figure it out.”

* * *

It was finally here. _December 5th._

Yeonjun stared at the notes app opened to a single page with three sentences, wondering if he’d ever stood a chance from the beginning. Soobin had given him the final clue the day before after Yeonjun’s search for the sea of blue or something came up empty and with just a glance, the elder knew it was over.

_Soft, cotton candy pink._

_As blue as the vast, cold sea, but always warm to me._

_The most comforting entity to ever exist._

It really seemed like what Soobin wanted was either an angel or a magical creature, because every guess felt wrong and for once in his very short life on earth, the internet was practically useless. 

By his door sat one of the shopping bags he’d gotten from the mall two days ago with the large pink rabbit, its blue twin snuggled up in Yeonjun’s arms as he tried to use its soft, fluffy body to calm his nerves. After hours of thought, he came to a simple conclusion.

_It was time to give up._

When he really thought about it, he never stood a chance. Soobin had always been way out of reach, ever since their first shared chemistry class in high school. But Yeonjun wanted to earn his place next to the other, to show that he had something to offer and that the last thing he wanted was to drag the other down.

So he worked hard and tirelessly, pleased when he became known as an all-rounder, dismayed when he realized that it still wasn’t enough. Because Soobin shone brighter than ever and while Yeonjun’s plan wasn’t to outshine the other, he knew it would be practically impossible for Soobin to notice him at that rate.

That’s when he became obvious and loud, flirting and issuing playful confessions, hoping the other would one day corner him and ask if he really meant it, hoping he would have the courage to say yes.

But that didn’t matter. None of it mattered now. Because he was ready to admit that wanting Soobin… was nothing but a far-fetched pipe dream that lasted for way too long.

His phone buzzed and the screen lit up, displaying a text from Huening Kai.

**_Giant puppy-_ **

**_Hey._ **

**_Where are you? Soobin is looking for you._ **

Yeonjun exhaled shakily, burying his face in the stuffed animal, praying it would hide his tears from the world as he reminded himself that he couldn't face Soobin tonight, maybe never again.

**_All-Rounder-_ **

**_on my way._ **

With one last hug from the plush rabbit, he pulled himself out of bed, too tired to bother checking if his styled pink hair had been messed up during his mini-meltdown. He shoved his phone into his back pocket and picked up the white bag, thankful that Namjoon’s dorm house was close enough for him to walk.

It was a great night. There was a light breeze that added to the mystical aura provided by the glow of the full moon above. Yeonjun let himself appreciate the ambiance, willing to enjoy the last semblance of peace he’d ever know before his world came crashing down.

As he turned into the street where Namjoon’s dorm was, he could hear the loud music and cheering voices. He tried to reason that maybe most of the guests were Namjoon’s friends, but deep down, he knew most of them were there for Soobin. Seeing so many people in attendance made Yeonjun feel even smaller, because maybe… someone in there might be the real gift Soobin wanted for his birthday. 

“Yeonjun! There you are! Fashionably late as always.” Seokjin - Namjoon’s roommate - grinned at Yeonjun as the latter stepped in through the crowded doorway.

Yeonjun forced a smile of his own, hoping Seokjin’s mom-senses were too dampened by alcohol to notice. “Yeah, I got a little occupied. Sorry.”

Seokjin waved a hand around carelessly. “It’s fine! Everyone knows the later it is, the better the party gets. Soobin was asking if we’d seen you. He’s with the rest of your friends in the kitchen doing jello shots.”

Yeonjun was tempted to leave his meager gift with the elder and get the hell out of the house, but he knew that would bring up questions, so he steeled his nerves and offered another sub-par smile.

“Thanks. I’ll go look for them.”

Seokjin nodded and pressed his half-full cup into Yeonjun’s hand, leaning in close to whisper, “You look like you need it. There’s more on the table in the corner of the study and the kitchen,” before wandering off.

Yeonjun peered down at the dark liquid and took a tentative sip, nearly bursting into tears when he realized Seokjin had given him some wine. Without a second thought, he downed the contents of the cup and marched past the kitchen to the study in search of more.

He was halfway through a bottle and wonderfully buzzed when Wooyoung - with a very cute, _very clearly drunk_ San clinging to him - appeared by his side.

“Dude! Where have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Soobin was panicking, thinking you weren't coming and Yoongi said Seokjin had told him that he saw you here. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“ _Nope_.” Yeonjun grinned, emptying the contents of his cup.

Wooyoung’s face softened, then turned fond as San - no longer content with hanging off his back - stepped in front of him, wrapped his arms around the former’s torso, and buried his face in his neck.

“Sorry,” Wooyoung apologized, not looking sorry at all as he ran a hand through San’s pitch-black hair. “He’s had a rough week and this party is what the doctor ordered.”

Yeonjun stared at the two of them, feeling the usual longing that occurred whenever he saw them begin to twist and distort itself into something darker.

“I’m never going to have that.” he sighed in a self-resigned manner.

Wooyoung stopped, frowning. “What?”

“Nothing. Just… succumbing to my fate.” 

Ever the insightful smartass, Wooyoung narrowed his eyes and angled San away from Yeonjun so he was mostly out of the boy’s sight and could focus on Wooyoung.

“Did something happen with Soobin? Why are you avoiding him?”

“I’m not avoiding him. I promised him I’d be here and I am. I didn’t say we had to hang out. Nothing happened.”

“Can you even hear yourself? We’re talking about Soobin. The love of your life. The same guy who you shared a sleeping bag with during that camping trip because you couldn't bear to be too far from him.”

Yeonjun blushed furiously. “I didn’t want to be too far from him.”

“You two were sharing the same tent. I don’t think you could’ve been farther than normal in that setting. Come on, Yeonjun. Talk to me. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” Yeonjun intoned through gritted teeth.

“Yeonjun-”

“ _Nothing happened!_ I tried my best, to be smarter, to be cooler, to be worthy. I told him how I felt pretty much every single day. I stuck so closely to him… he became my second skin. And nothing happened. I still wasn’t enough for him. I couldn't even find the dumb gift he wanted. How the hell am I supposed to prove that I can be someone he can count on if I can't find one lousy gift? How can I expect him to trust me and depend on me?”

He was breathing heavily, heart aching because somewhere within these walls, Soobin was upset, waiting for him to show up and as much as it burned to think that Soobin was probably hurt and even more so that he was the catalyst, he’d fallen back into his cowardly ways and facing the birthday boy at that moment felt impossible.

Wooyoung’s expression was one of pity and the darkness in Yeonjun grew, because _how dare he pretend to understand when he had everything?_ When San had been as much in love with him as he was with the other and it had been a breeze for them to get together?

“Yeonjun, I really think that you’re overthinking things. Let’s get you some water and-”

“No. I’m finally starting to think things through. I never stood a chance. I deluded myself for so long and I need to stop. I need to let him go.”

With those words, he grabbed the bottle and his bag and left the study in search of somewhere quieter. It took about four tries for him to find an empty bedroom, simultaneously tossing his bag onto the bed and taking a large swig as he stumbled forward to open a window. 

The crisp air brought with it a sense of relief and he sat on the bed, pulling his phone out of his pocket for the first time in the forty-something minutes he’d been in the house. It had been buzzing non-stop, but he was quite adept in the art of ignoring whatever he needed to so he hadn't given it any thought.

A barrage of texts awaited him, with over thirty missed calls, most from his friends and others from Namjoon and his housemates. Deciding to go through the texts, Yeonjun felt guilt crawl up this throat as he read Huening Kai’s messages filled with worry and concern. Beomgyu and Taehyun too participated in the text-fest, except Beomgyu had told Yeonjun “Don’t be an asshole. I will kill you if you don’t show up.” and for some reason, it gave Yeonjun a little bit of strength to go through Soobin’s texts.

They’d started casual, then slowly but surely descended into deep concern.

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny- (07:40 pm)_ **

**_Running late?_ **

**_Hurry up, Huening’s swallowing all the pizzas_ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny- (07:52 pm)_ **

**_Hey, are you okay?_ **

**_You’re still coming, right?_ **

Somewhere down the line, it took a more frantic turn.

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny- (08:13 pm)_ **

**_Seokjin said he saw you._ **

**_Did you lose your way to the kitchen?_ **

**_We’re still there if you want to join us._ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny- (08:30 pm)_ **

**_Yeonjun? Are you mad at me?_ **

**_If this is about the gift, I really don’t need you to get me anything_ **

**_Pretty Dimpled Bunny- (08:47 pm)_ **

**_Yeonjun, please pick up your phone_ **

**_Junnie, please. Tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want to celebrate my birthday without you_ **

**_If it’s something I said or did, I’m sorry. Please._ **

There were a couple more of the boy begging but added to the missed calls, Yeonjun felt like going home was his only option. Still, he fell onto his side and fumbled with his phone, trying to call Soobin. His fingers were too slow and uncoordinated and it wasn’t until he was staring at Soobin’s distraught face through the screen of his phone did he realize that he’d actually pressed the video call option.

Even with the sadness in his eyes and messy blue hair - probably a result of all the hugs he’d gotten or from running his hand through it multiple times (Yeonjun felt it was better to pick the former option) - Soobin was still the most beautiful creature Yeonjun had ever seen.

“Yeonjun…” Soobin croaked with a sniff.

_Had he been crying?_

Sluggishly, Yeonjun tried to sit up and after several fails, he just opted for laying on his back and holding his phone over his head.

“Upstairs… I brought you something. Come find me upstairs… I’m on the second floor - I think. can't remember what room though.”

He half expected Soobin to say _no_ , to swear at him but the other only nodded and mumbled.

“I’ll be there soon. Please don’t leave.”

Yeonjun nodded with a sad smile. “I won't.”

The screen went dark shortly after the words left his mouth and after about three minutes, he was finally able to convince his body to move and by the time the door opened, he was seated at the edge of the bed, shopping bag in hand.

Soobin gently closed the door and leaned against it, and for the first time since Yeonjun had known him, he looked unsure about everything.

“Yeonjun-”

“Here.” Yeonjun forced the word out, gaze dropping to the floor as he held the bag out. “I couldn't… I couldn't find what you wanted. So… um… this seemed cute and it was pink and I thought… it’s okay if you don’t want it. I’ve screwed up so much already and I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, that’s why I got it.”

Soobin blinked at him and took a step forward, then another and another… stopping when Yeonjun shifted uneasily.

“Why wouldn't I want it?” he asked in a low whisper. “I love everything you give me.”

“Because… because it might serve as a reminder of my epic fail?” Yeonjun laughed as tears filled his eyes.

“Yeonjun, you didn’t fail-”

“Stop. Please. don’t make this harder for us. Just take it. Or don’t.” he dropped the bag on the floor and rose to his feet, completely unprepared when Soobin practically jumped onto him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressed his face into his neck.

Instinctively, Yeonjun’s arms encircled his waist and he stilled, wondering what was happening.

“Why are you doing this? Why does it feel like you’re leaving me? What did I do?” Soobin stuttered, tightening his hold a little.

Yeonjun felt one of his hands pat Soobin’s back as the other slowly made it’s way up until his fingers were tangled in Soobin’s blue hair.

“You didn’t do anything. It’s me. I’m the problem. Can't you see that?”

It was obvious the moment Soobin walked in, how much Yeonjun had hurt him. He couldn't get what the other wanted as a gift, couldn't protect his heart either. He was just… _useless_.

So it really was better if Yeonjun walked away before he did any more damage.

“Yeonjun, what are you talking about? You’ve never been anything but perfect to me! Why do you think you’re the gift I wanted?”

“Soobin - _what_?” Yeonjun’s brain stuttered to a stop.

Soobin pulled away and wiped at his eyes, pouting a little.

“When you said you couldn't find it, I thought I could just come clean, but then the others suggested that I wait a little but then you seemed so disappointed and then you didn’t show up and you wouldn't answer your phone so I didn’t know if you were really upset and didn’t know or you were just rejecting me-”

“Baby, stop,” Yeonjun called out of habit, cheeks pink when he caught the slip-up, forcing himself to stay still as he instructed slowly. “Breath. Now start from the beginning.”

“The beginning? Oh. Um… how far back do I have to go?”

It was unusual to see Soobin this… frazzled and for a moment, Yeonjun wasn’t sure what to do.

“You said I was the gift you wanted?”

Soobin blushed. “Yeah. You are. I thought the clues were obvious - at least the first one but I guess I was wrong. I’m sorry I upset you. I shouldn't have led you on like that. I just really wanted to do something to show you how much I like you since you do that on a daily basis - or at least… I think that’s what you’re trying to say when you hold my hand and tell me you love me. I just wanted to say it back but I was really scared and this just seemed like a good idea at the time. I’m sorry, Junnie.”

There were too many thoughts flowing through Yeonjun’s mind at that moment and he felt it was safer for his heart if he faced the simpler issue first.

“ _Obvious?_ How were any of those fancy clues supposed to lead to me?”

Soobin stepped closer, eyes lighting up a little as he lifted a hand. “Can I show you?”

Suddenly unable to speak, Yeonjun nodded, stilling as Soobin’s hand rested upon his hair, gently stroking his pink locks.

“Soft… cotton candy pink.” the other murmured. “ I helped you dye it last month, remember? When I had that huge test and I was so nervous, I couldn't study and you came over and told me to put my time to good use. We had brownies and ice cream after and you cuddled me till I fell asleep.”

Slowly, he reached up with his other hand to hold Yeonjun’s chin, tilting his head back a little until Yeonjun’s eyes found themselves lost in Soobin’s. “As blue as the vast, cold sea, but always warm to me. People think you’re mean because you have a habit of glaring at anyone who looks mildly offensive-”

“There are a lot of mean people out there.” Yeonjun pointed out impulsively, heart skipping in a very concerning manner when Soobin grinned.

“I know. But I also know that it burns when you look at me like I’m your whole world… which is pretty much every day.”

Yeonjun felt a lump rise in his throat and he swallowed with difficulty. “The last one?”

Soobin hugged him again, this time tucking Yeonjun’s slightly shorter frame beneath his, like he was desperately reserving Yeonjun as… _his_.

“The most comforting entity to ever exist. You have no idea how much you’ve healed me. How many times your voice has made my day better… how much you mean to me. I’m sorry, Junnie. I’m so sorry for confusing you and making you feel bad.”

Seconds passed and Yeonjun couldn’t conjure up any ideas on what to do. Soobin - uneasy with the sudden silence - pulled away, not getting far as Yeonjun’s hand grabbed hold of his wrist.

“Why… why didn’t you say anything? I thought I wasn’t being obvious enough.”

The rush of color painting Soobin’s cheeks was bound to become an obsession of Yeonjun’s, as he watched the reaction to his words with thinly-veiled fascination.

“You were plenty obvious. But I wanted to tell you in a special way. After everything you’ve done for me… just saying ‘ _hey, I like you too, a lot_ ’ didn’t seem enough. I’m sorry it turned out this way. Please don’t ever think that you need to be anything more or anything other than who you are for me. You’re so much more than I deserve, you have been since we met and that’s never going to change.” Soobin took the hand that had been holding his wrist between his two hands and looked at Yeonjun with worried eyes. “Please… don’t leave me. I’m sorry.”

_Wow. He’d been so wrong and goodness was it a relief to say that._

“Are you kidding me? Soobin, I wouldn't leave you. I know that’s what I tried to do, but I’m so obsessed with you, I would’ve latched onto you tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that I know that I have a chance to be your boyfriend. If you want me to.”

Soobin’s cheeks turned so red, Yeonjun was momentarily concerned that the boy might be having a heart attack. But he just jumped at Yeonjun, causing the unprepared boy to fall back onto the bed, taking Soobin down with him.

“Yes,” the dimpled bunny replied breathlessly. “Yes, please. Be my boyfriend Junnie.”

Yeonjun’s stomach flipped at the sound of the nickname exclusively used by Soobin and he huffed, pretending the heat in his cheeks was a figment of his imagination.

“Well… since it’s your birthday… okay, Binnie. I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.” Yeonjun smiled at the love of his life, hovering above him.

“I’m already yours, dummy,” Soobin muttered, looking ready to combust with both joy and anxiety. “I thought that was a given.”

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t expect it to be so easy… or whatever you call this.” Yeonjun teased with a laugh as he reached up to playfully poke at Soobin’s dimple, pausing at the way Soobin stiffened at his touch. “Is something wrong?”

“N-No. No… I - uh… I actually had another thing on my wishlist.”

“Please tell me this one isn’t as complicated.”

“It’s painfully simple.” Soobin smiled a little, before fixing his nervous gaze to Yeonjun’s confident one. “Can I have a birthday kiss?”

His voice was so quiet, Yeonjun almost missed it and was very tempted to ask him to repeat what he said. But he’d waited too long to keep playing games. He’d hurt himself so much - hurt Soobin too and he was far too tired to let any more time get away from them.

Gently, he cupped Soobin’s face and slowly pulled him closer, eyes flitting between the warm pools of caramel and the pink lips he’d dreamt of for so long.

“Oh, Soobin,” he sighed when the other was a mere breath away. “You can have all the kisses you want.”

The contact - although expected - was startling. As their lips brushed in initial contact, Yeonjun felt a chill race down his spine and flames filled his nerves a moment later when Soobin pressed closer, deepening the kiss. It was _everything and nothing_ like either had imagined and it was perfect.

When they remembered what a _necessary but bothersome_ thing oxygen was, they reluctantly pulled away, still close enough to drink up the sight of the other which consisted of messy hair and slightly puffy lips.

“Happy birthday Soobin.” Yeonjun wished against Soobin’s mouth, smiling as the other whined and buried his face in the older’s neck. “You can't be this cute. I’ll die of a heart attack.”

“Shut up. You don’t get to be so pretty and spew such lies. It’s unfair.”

Yeonjun hummed with a giddy grin, wrapping his arms around the most precious person in his life, thankful he got a chance to hold him again - this time with different ties linking them together.

“Shouldn't you get back to your party? You are the reason they’re all here.” 

Soobin nuzzled against his shoulder, sighing as Yeonjun’s fingers combed through his hair.

“They can stay for food and drinks. The most important person to me is here right now and I’d rather not be anywhere else.”

Yeonjun felt his heart rate accelerate, unsure he’d be able to make it through the night with a boyfriend so special, but damned if he wasn’t going to try.

“And he calls me unfair.” 


End file.
